TRATEOTU

Yes, I finished reading part two: The Restaurant at the End of the Universe.
Another book full of nonsense! In this book we learn about the end of the universe and that people come visit Milliways – the restaurant at the end of the universe – to watch the whole show.

In this restaurant, you can meet the Dish of the Day: May I interest you in parts of my body? Something off the shoulder perhaps?
After ordering, the animal walks back into the kitchen: Very good, I’ll just nip off and shoot myself.

On the Heart of Gold space ship, however, the Cybernetics Corporation Nutri-Matic Drinks Synthesizer still cannot produce tea.

“Share and Enjoy” is the company motto of the hugely successful Sirius Cybernetics Corporation Complaints Division, which now covers the major land masses of three medium-sized planets and is the only part of the Corporation to have shown a consistent profit in recent years.

Another product of the same Corporation is the Happy Vertical People Transporter:

“I go up,” said the elevator, “or down.”
“Good, ” said Zaphod, “we’re going up.”
“Or down,” the elevator reminded him.
“Yeah, okay, up please.”
There was a moment of silence.
“Down’s very nice,” suggested the elevator hopefully.
“Oh yeah?”
“Super.”
“Good,” said Zaphod, “now will you take us up?”
“May I ask you,” inquired the elevator in its sweetest, most reasonable voice, “if you’ve considered all the possibilities that down might offer you?”
Zaphod knocked one of his heads against the inside wall.

Fabulous is also the conversation between Marvin, the depressed little robot, and a tank, Frogstar Scout robot class D. Marvin is sent to stop the tank.

“You? Stop me?” roared the tank, “Go on!”
“No, really I have,” said Marvin simply.
“What are you armed with?” roared the tank in disbelief.
“Guess,” said Marvin.
(…)
“How about an electron ram?”
This was new to Marvin.
“What’s that?” he said.
“One of these,” said the machine with enthusiasm.
(…)
“No,” said Marvin, “not one of those.”
“Good though, isn’t it?”
“Very good,” agreed Marvin.
“I know,” said the Frogstar battle machine, after another moment’s consideration, “you must have one of those new Xanthic Restructron Destabilized Zenon Emitters!”
“Nice, aren’t they?” said Marvin.
“That’s what you’ve got?” said the machine in considerable awe.
“No,” said Marvin.
“Oh,” said the machine, disappointed,

Or this one, when Ford and Arthur captured on an alien ship:

“Out,” he said. People who can supply that amount of firepower don’t need to supply verbs as well.
Ford and Arthur went out, closely followed by the wrong end of the Kill-O-Zap gun

Well, the third book is waiting for me: “Life, the Universe and Everything”. You’ll hear from me…

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Friday, April 15th, 2005 Funny, Leisure, Personal

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